My Story

Would you like to know how I ended up on Kundalini training myself?

It would be fair to say it found me.

 

It was October 2009 when I’ve attended my first Kundalini Yoga class in Letchworth, Hertfordshire, following a recommendation from one of my sewing students. I was attending gym at the time and doing yoga classes, but it felt that as much as they allowed me to exercise my physical body, I felt rather hollow inside. I also had a quick try of Tai-Chi to fill my spiritual urge, and as much as I loved to feel the energy during the class, the pace was far too slow for me. I just turned 30 and gone back to college to study Fashion and Textile: one of my childhood dreams. So you can imagine, I was full of excitement and freedom of fulfilling my destiny. I needed something that could work fast and deliver lasting results. I was impatient.

So when I went to Kundalini yoga class, I was totally hooked! I also had a vision of me wearing all white with a white veil, sitting on the white lotus flower during the relaxation bit and I kept coming back to the class in hope to see the same vision again. Funily enough, this is what I wear when I teach nowadays and I love it.

Going back to October 2009, that same week my new boyfriend Chris had moved in with me and my 7 year old son Andrew, newly diagnosed with Insulin dependent Diabetes. The journey of being a single mum had ended and I was facing big changes…

I had to give up all my social benefits and trust that this new man who I knew for some short period of time will take a good care of me and my son.  I had to trust my intuition even though my solicitor was saying that I should make a written agreement with my new boyfriend so I don’t end up having to split my house with him. My ex-husband was trying to scare me with stories about boyfriends who abuse the children…There were a lot of resistance and fear. It was a totally new situation for me, having been married twice before and declaring to myself to ‘never ever get married again’, to then let another man enter my life and impact on me and my son. Chris is 4 years younger and had never been married before, nor had kids. He was also in uncharted waters.

Chris didn’t approve me signing up for the training and wasn’t helping me financially. But since he was a new person in our family, he didn’t make a big issue out of it. I didn’t have the money to pay for the full training as all my benefits had stopped and I was a full time student at the college with no job. I decided to pay as you go, hoping that it will work out somehow.

Going on training meant to leave my son for a whole weekend with my new boyfriend. It meant I had to trust Chris checking Andrew’s blood sugars during the night in case it went too low. It meant that should anything happen I would not be able to find out let along help or be on hand as there were no network reception at the remote Derbyshire venue, only the pay phone!

That was the time when I started to pray to Universe and learn to release my tight grip of control, I had to learn to trust the unknown. Now I see it as me suffering Superiority complex, thinking that I was responsible for everything that happens to me and my son…Nowadays, I try and remember that the Spirit is the orchestra-tor and that I am merely the instrument in Spirit’s hands.

Whilst attending regular kundalini classes I did not plan to go to Teacher Training. Become a teacher would be the last thing I'd consider. Let alone a yoga teacher! But there was something calling to me, especially once I heard the name of my teacher, I felt the pull at the heart.

I couldn’t have imagined how on Earth will I learn about yoga, asanas, all the body’s inner workings in English as it was not my native language. I was confused and scared, but something inside was giving me this message that ‘everything will just work out’. And so it did, the teacher is a skillful conscious communicator. Her words, wisdom, experience, love and the teachings went straight into my heart, bypassing the head. And even though I still didn’t logically understand it with my mind, I felt the Teachings as the precious gem, which she placed in my heart. It grew and unfolded in me ever since.

Money materialised. Jobs found me. Life all of a sudden was starting to make sense and there was a law to it. There was a Divine plan! Oh how relieved I was that there was a plan for me and that I was not the one who had to make myself a mission or create an image of me from my limited self. All I had to do is relax and allow the flow of life to run smoothly through me, unfolding my life’s purpose and things I had to do. My job was to then make choices and listen deeply to what felt right to me and follow my hearts callings.

Absolute bliss.

It felt so right. I wished these Teachings were taught to kids in school, so humankind was equipped well in advance of how to live this life. I felt so inspired to share it with everyone and I continue to do so. It never gets old for me. It never fails to surprise me. It never fails to support me through everything I had to face since.  

My prayer is that you are Graced with the ability and strength to open up to your True Self and follow that calling with trust that ‘it will all work out just fine’.

Sat Nam

"Excellent course. It has allowed me to transform and given me more tools to face the challenges of life. The team is professional and very supportive. Highly recommend it."

Leila B. August 2022